Today’s topic is about Hiding Yourself from what you really want. A comment came through where a guy, let’s call him Matt, wrote that Fear has stopped him from allowing other people to get too close. He wrote that he can see how he even chose to live in a geographical location that has made it easy for him to keep his distance from others.
We are all good at hiding in some way. We become experts at hiding who we really are when it comes to certain situations or areas of our life, and most often we do this subconsciously. We create patterns of behaviour or habits that we often don’t realise we keep doing, or we do but we think we can’t control the pattern because it often looks like something that keeps happening ‘to us’.
For some of you this might happen in love relationships preventing true emotional intimacy or commitment, for others it happens in friendships or around family. It can happen with our professional life, our business and our creativity, interfering with our success and prosperity.
No matter the area of our life being affected, or the particular pattern we have set up to keep what we truly desire at arm’s length, there is always a common factor at play:
And that is:
Fear that is directly related to a core wound, and this fear has created a big story about something. It might based on a past memory, experience, observation, ancestral history or a bunch of other possible roots. While it can be useful to explore some of those roots, we can lose a lifetime if we spend our lives trying to dig them all up before we allow ourselves to be free of the fear.
The big story of your fear says: If you do this, then that will happen.
That person will eventually leave you, or hurt you. You will lose yourself. You will get criticised or rejected. People will laugh at you. No-one wants to hear what you have to say.
It is no wonder we find ways to stay hidden in our caves. It seems a lot easier. Until it isn’t. One day, our hidey spot comfort zone starts feeling really uncomfortable.
It takes courage to encourage ourselves out of our hidey spot comfort zones.
The irony always is that once we're out of our caves we think oh wow how good is this! Our fear makes us think that emerging is like stepping out into the biggest, darkest, most scary place. But in reality, emergence into more of our selves is more like stepping out into a big grassy field with lots of sunshine. I’m not going to lie. Grey Clouds do float by out here sometimes. There are ouchy things that you may sometimes step on. But to experience the wonderful new space the other 99% of the time is worth it.
Your fear just wants to protect you. But the difference between the fear and the reality is like the projection from the Wizard of Oz. The fear appears large and overwhelming, but in reality it is something you can deal with if and when you actually meet it face to face out in your sunny field.
What part of you is hiding in a cave?
What are your Fears about emerging?
Ask your Future Self to give you the courage to encourage you to come out from hiding.
Ask your Future Self to be your teammate, helper and guide.
See your Future Self extend his or her hand out to you and draw you toward them in the best possible way, helping you to emerge into the new space that you so rightfully deserve to be in now, and are so very ready for.
** This is Wednesday's Wisdom Seeds topic, where we'll chat about something thought-provoking each week. Please subscribe to the newsletter to get notice of next one. **
(c) Dana Mrkich 2016
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